Hey Girl,
NO ONE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD is going to love you the way you can. Don’t look for validation in man because we will ALWAYS let each other down. People have their own lives, their agendas, their own desires, etc. and while they may genuinely love you, their ideas, methods or examples of showing that love may be totally different from you. This is why it’s important that you show yourself the definition of YOUR version of love, so you’re not seeking it out from others. Learning to love yourself deeply, truly and completely DOESN’T happen overnight. It takes time, patience, energy, commitment and consistency but it will be so worth it in the end!
Here are 10Â ways to love yourself...really, REALLYÂ love yourself:
1. Look beyond other people’s opinions of yourself and appreciate who you are.
The most important opinion about a person is THEIR OWN. If you're worried about what other people think about you so much to the point where you can't be real about who you are, there's something missing in you and that's LOVE!
2. Stop beating yourself up for past mistakes.
Ok, WE GET IT, you made a mistake! You have a lapse in judgement, you made a wrong turn, you pushed someone away, you lost a lot of money, you made friends with the wrong person, you disappointed yourself, you chose the wrong answer on a test...IT'S OKAY! You're human, friend and the fact of the matter is we ALL make mistakes. Some people are just willing to learn from them and others prefer to wallow in their pity. STOP THAT! Pick yourself up, learn from it and let it make you better. Holding un-forgiveness in your heart against yourself is crippling. Forgive yourself and do your best not to make the same mistake(s) again.
3. TAKE YOUR OWN ADVICE!
You know the advice you give to everyone else in their situations? When you’re in their same predicament do for you what you wished your friends would have done for themselves.
4. LEAVE PEOPLE ALONE WHO...Â
Don’t value/support you.
Don’t respect your time, energy, money, etc.
Bring nothing to the table accept an open hand.
Don’t feed you (spiritually) or bring you life.
Never call/text you first.
Don’t invest (good information, money, time, etc). in you.
Are not going where you’re going. If you are reaching for greater things and trying to climb the ladder of success and your friends appear to be rolling around in the dirt WITH NO INTENTION of doing better, you may have to let them go. Bad company corrupts a good man.
5. Refuse to settle for less than your best. Work to the best of your ability...don’t serve yourself half-cooked food!
6. Shower yourself in the love you're so quick to give to others.
If you're like me, giving is your first, middle and last name but sometimes we get so consumed with giving to others that we forget to give to ourselves. THIS IS SO IMPORTANT! Give yourself something to look forward to, take yourself somewhere nice, buy yourself something new and don't let anyone make you feel selfish for doing so. It's YOUR money, YOUR time, YOUR energy and YOUR happiness at steak...Those who are worthy of such valuable things, but don't give your pearls to swine and expect to get something in return. Save yourself for you.
7. Spend QUALITY time in the word and before the face of God.
There is nothing more satisfying, revitalizing or purifying than being in the presence of God. Spending time in God's word is a sure way to be overtaken with the peace we need when our hearts become full or overtaken by the sorrows of this world. Availing ourselves to the Lord is such a sweet moment in our lives in which we feel restored, made new and free! Find time...matter of fact MAKE TIME to allow the spirit of God to overtake your life. I don't mean five or ten minutes here or there. I'm talking about carving out an hour of your day in the morning or at night where you devote time to the Lord, allowing Him to minister to your heart and mind. Go into your room, play worship music, turn on a waterfall, put do not disturb on your phone, unplug the TV...WHATEVER you have to do, find yourself before God's face. As our creator, He's the only one who can even begin to explain how we ought to love ourselves.
8. STOP BEING SO NEGATIVE!!!
We're always complaining about what's wrong with ourselves. Our narrative is often more negative than positive. Thinking to ourselves: I'm too fat, I'm too skinny, my hair is too short, my hair is too thin, nobody likes me, I'm so lame, I'm not pretty enough or smart enough, I can't do that, they're going to laugh, no one supports me, I've never done that before, I'm scared, someone else is doing that, it probably won't work...STOP THE NOISE!!! You're driving yourself insane!!! Who cares about any of that? Just go out on a limb, believe in yourself for once and give yourself a chance! None of those negative things even matter because of who God created you to be. You are SO MUCH MORE than any negative word, thought or action that has come to you. Give it a try, look at the positive and ignore the negative for once in your life.
9. Trust your instincts.
If you have a feeling, an inkling or a THOUGHT that something will or won't work out you're probably right. I don't mean an estimate, an idea or a hope or you going based off of fear or something someone else said. I'm talking about a deep, overwhelming, undeniable feeling about something. This is what I like to call a "nudge" from God. God is constantly directing us, speaking to us, showing us things and when we override His guidance or instructions, we wind up in a world of trouble. Try being obedient and submit to God and it will bless you. our obedience keeps us out of trouble, keeps us from making those major mistakes, keeps us focused and helps us to undoubtedly love ourselves the way we need to be loved.
10. Develop good habits that keep you out of trouble and elevate your mind.
When we are not living intentionally, we allow ourselves to be tossed back and forth. Whatever happens, happens and whatever doesn't, won't. THAT'S NO WAY TO LIVE! Don't get me wrong, I don't mean planning out other people's lives or the roll they'll play in your life. I'm referring to YOU. Plan out your day, decide to be happy, spend time alone, lots and lots of time alone, develop a personal affirmation of things you want to achieve, watch things that inspire you, reach books that inspire you, follow positive accounts on social media, develop healthy habits and be kind to yourself.
XOXO,
Farrah LaRaé
Creator, Enjoy Your Life